Being Brave Enough To Let Someone In

I can't remember what I was watching the other night, but one of the characters made reference to being "brave enough to let someone in".

The statement resonated with me enough to go to my people outlines, and write that in on both the male AND the female figure.

But on the surface, it's a rather general statement. Note to Universe, I am not referring to someone being brave enough to let me through their front door (sometimes you have to be very specific with this playful Universe, it likes to tease).

So what does 'letting someone in' mean to ME?

Well.... having dated someone who was perpetually emotionally unavailable for the past year, I have some ideas! But first, let's clarify what it is NOT.

Truly letting someone in, is not exposing the affects of every negative experience endured within your life time. I am looking for a partner. Not a confessional. It is not exposing healed wounds. I am not going to conduct an emotional autopsy in an effort to create closeness.

I am no longer willing to emotionally arm wrestle someone into expressing. It's not worth the frustrations.

To me, "letting someone in" means being comfortable enough with someone to risk emotional vulnerability. To be able to a) identify the emotion being experienced, b) to be daring enough to share that emotional content c) to not fear someone "fixing" the emotion, trusting they will just listen for a moment or so. To be able to share worries or dilemas. To be able to celebrate victories. To be one another's best friend. To be confident that you will be accepted as you are. To feel safe in taking the risk.

To take a chance that yes, you might fall on your face, but to trust that your thoughts or sentiments may actually be received very well. To be daring enough to take that chance with little regard to the potential consequences. I have learned that when I love with reckless abandon, I can't always be surprised if I end up with my face in the gravel. But at least I took the chance. Did I fail? Well.... I certainly have learned from those gravel experiences, so no, I do not believe it was a failure.

Am I willing to be brave enough to truly let someone in?

I think I am. Granted, I might be biased.

I am an emotional creature. That does not mean I'm overly emotional. Well.... some 'unfeeling' type people might perceive me that way. That's fine.... keep on walking, you aren't who I'm looking for.

As cheesy as it may sound... I need someone who is willing to meet me half way in this endeavor. If you aren't willing, there's a good chance I may be perceived as being needy. But I have also learned that there is a big difference between looking for an emotional need to be met, versus being needy. Further, if I have been perceived as "being needy" because I was attempting to have an emotional need met, then clearly, once again we're back at the conclusion that you need to keep on walking.... you aren't what I'm looking for.

One day, "he" will be prepared to let me in. I just haven't identified who "he" may be as of yet. That's fine. I'm in no rush. I'm not looking to recklessly jump into something. Maybe a period of 'seeking' will help me to recognize it when it rises up to meet me.

And when that does happen.... both of us WILL be brave enough to let one another in.